Yes, another toilet story. I think I could write a book on it. I could call it, "How to potty train your child in just 14 easy years." Andrew is now fully potty trained, but I think flushing unflushables is still cause for alarm.
Now this was not a totally blocked issue, well nothing that can't be explained by insisting on using half a roll of toilet paper to wipe with. (He gets this from his mother.) But a simple plunger will clear that. When a plunger clears it, but the water flow is still slow, that is the real problem. You see a full block can usually be pushed down with a plunger, or broken up with a drain snake, or sucked out with a shop-vac. If you don't know the shop-vac trick and you have children or grand children; take notes! It works best to remove the filter from the vacuum, this prevents the filter from damage when the tank fills with water. Second pack a towel around the shop-vac hose, this creates a seal, and lets you pull out all kinds of things. A jar of Mentholatum makes a satisfying sound as it rattles up the hose and into the can. Plastic bags, like the grocery bags come right out. Third, and most important, put some bleach down the toilet before you start with the shop-vac. It doesn't make the gift pooh that may come out any better smelling, but you can pretend it is 'clean'.
Now, you may ask, "What does one do when the plunger, snake and shop-vac have all failed?" Some would call a plumber, and that is good choice. Indeed if I had $250 I might do the same. Of course, plumbers also take time, and for a $100 I can buy a toilet at Lowes or Home Depot, and we have an all night Home Depot! (yes I once bought two, not one but two toilets at 2 am. It was the last time Rachel every baby sat Andrew when having a friend over). But fear not friends, you do not need to part with your hard earned cash yet. There is still one last trick, the trick of last resort. Well, the trick of second to last resort. Last resort is stealing the toilet the bishop has by the side of his house late at night and installing it. This has a downside when it is 15 years old, locked up with hard water deposits and has a nest of ants living it, but that is a story for another day. I call this trick the "drain-snake-reverse-with-textile-twist". It works like this:
1. Remove said toilet, not as easy as it sounds. You must shut off the water. Most valves are badly rusted open and require a manly grip. Use a wash cloth to prevent the metal from cutting you. Failure at this point means calling a plumber. This is the most delicate part of the operation, as a broken valve or pipe from using too much force with a wrench can leave you without water until the plumber gets there, or you fix the valve or go to the hospital because you cut the tip of your finger off while trying to fix the valve. (yes, another story for another day.)
2. Drain tank. Sounds easy, but you want to really drain the tank, and the toilet, and the trap in the toilet. The shop vac is the tool of choice, fast, effective and really kind of fun to use. Just suck the water out of there after a post water shut off flush.
3. Now take off the intake hose. If you don't have a nice flexible metal braided hose, now is the time to go shopping. They make things much easier. Get the kind with the Teflon plastic fittings, no messy tape to try to put on. If you don't have a spare wax ring, buy TWO now. Always have a spare.
4. Remove the securing bolts with a pair of pliers or wrench, don't worry about keeping the nuts or the threads, you are going to replace them. They come in the wax ring kit.
5. Lift off toilet and lay on side, clean up icky-stick wax ring with a putty knife and prepare for the "drain-snake-reverse-with-textile-twist".
6. Feed the snake into the bottom of the toilet, where it met the floor, run it all the way out the bowl. Now take a rag, the red ones from the auto stores are the best, not too thick, not too thin. A wash cloth is too thick. Use the wire end of the snake to pierce the rag about a third of the way in and screw it down into the snake, now fold it over and do it again. You can also use twine or bailing wire to simply attach the rag to the snake, but just working onto the snake end works well. Now pull the snake through the toilet. The rag will scrub out the sides, and will pull out the strange piece of whatever your child flushed.
Now with some children you can ask: "What did you flush? Don't lie to daddy, because he will find it and kill you if you lie." With a non-verbal child, you just get strange motions pointing at the garbage can. Anything is fair game, if it goes in the can, he will try to flush it down the other can. In this case it was .... The plastic card package that a Chapstick is sold in. (yes we took photos). Previous advernture have been the contact lens case the Ophthalmologist gives you hard contacts in, jars of bathroom stuff, a plastic yellow toy, and a mesh piece off of the hair dryer.
I blame Naomi. I don't use chapstick, bathroom stuff in small jars, yellow toys or hair dryers.
Having liberated the toilet you reattach with the new wax ring, taking time to replace the attachment screws, washers and bolts. Use the little plastic washers to create friction to pinch the screws in the slots, it keeps them from tipping over when you put the toilet over it. Putting the toilet back is two person job, you want someone to lift and someone to guide.
Finally comes the most important part of the job, that is after washing your hands four times and giving your son a long time out for flushing an un-flushable. Eat some cookies while typing up the story so you can laugh at it and not kill someone.
Love Ray and Andrew.
Now this was not a totally blocked issue, well nothing that can't be explained by insisting on using half a roll of toilet paper to wipe with. (He gets this from his mother.) But a simple plunger will clear that. When a plunger clears it, but the water flow is still slow, that is the real problem. You see a full block can usually be pushed down with a plunger, or broken up with a drain snake, or sucked out with a shop-vac. If you don't know the shop-vac trick and you have children or grand children; take notes! It works best to remove the filter from the vacuum, this prevents the filter from damage when the tank fills with water. Second pack a towel around the shop-vac hose, this creates a seal, and lets you pull out all kinds of things. A jar of Mentholatum makes a satisfying sound as it rattles up the hose and into the can. Plastic bags, like the grocery bags come right out. Third, and most important, put some bleach down the toilet before you start with the shop-vac. It doesn't make the gift pooh that may come out any better smelling, but you can pretend it is 'clean'.
Now, you may ask, "What does one do when the plunger, snake and shop-vac have all failed?" Some would call a plumber, and that is good choice. Indeed if I had $250 I might do the same. Of course, plumbers also take time, and for a $100 I can buy a toilet at Lowes or Home Depot, and we have an all night Home Depot! (yes I once bought two, not one but two toilets at 2 am. It was the last time Rachel every baby sat Andrew when having a friend over). But fear not friends, you do not need to part with your hard earned cash yet. There is still one last trick, the trick of last resort. Well, the trick of second to last resort. Last resort is stealing the toilet the bishop has by the side of his house late at night and installing it. This has a downside when it is 15 years old, locked up with hard water deposits and has a nest of ants living it, but that is a story for another day. I call this trick the "drain-snake-reverse-with-textile-twist". It works like this:
1. Remove said toilet, not as easy as it sounds. You must shut off the water. Most valves are badly rusted open and require a manly grip. Use a wash cloth to prevent the metal from cutting you. Failure at this point means calling a plumber. This is the most delicate part of the operation, as a broken valve or pipe from using too much force with a wrench can leave you without water until the plumber gets there, or you fix the valve or go to the hospital because you cut the tip of your finger off while trying to fix the valve. (yes, another story for another day.)
2. Drain tank. Sounds easy, but you want to really drain the tank, and the toilet, and the trap in the toilet. The shop vac is the tool of choice, fast, effective and really kind of fun to use. Just suck the water out of there after a post water shut off flush.
3. Now take off the intake hose. If you don't have a nice flexible metal braided hose, now is the time to go shopping. They make things much easier. Get the kind with the Teflon plastic fittings, no messy tape to try to put on. If you don't have a spare wax ring, buy TWO now. Always have a spare.
4. Remove the securing bolts with a pair of pliers or wrench, don't worry about keeping the nuts or the threads, you are going to replace them. They come in the wax ring kit.
5. Lift off toilet and lay on side, clean up icky-stick wax ring with a putty knife and prepare for the "drain-snake-reverse-with-textile-twist".
6. Feed the snake into the bottom of the toilet, where it met the floor, run it all the way out the bowl. Now take a rag, the red ones from the auto stores are the best, not too thick, not too thin. A wash cloth is too thick. Use the wire end of the snake to pierce the rag about a third of the way in and screw it down into the snake, now fold it over and do it again. You can also use twine or bailing wire to simply attach the rag to the snake, but just working onto the snake end works well. Now pull the snake through the toilet. The rag will scrub out the sides, and will pull out the strange piece of whatever your child flushed.
Now with some children you can ask: "What did you flush? Don't lie to daddy, because he will find it and kill you if you lie." With a non-verbal child, you just get strange motions pointing at the garbage can. Anything is fair game, if it goes in the can, he will try to flush it down the other can. In this case it was .... The plastic card package that a Chapstick is sold in. (yes we took photos). Previous advernture have been the contact lens case the Ophthalmologist gives you hard contacts in, jars of bathroom stuff, a plastic yellow toy, and a mesh piece off of the hair dryer.
I blame Naomi. I don't use chapstick, bathroom stuff in small jars, yellow toys or hair dryers.
Having liberated the toilet you reattach with the new wax ring, taking time to replace the attachment screws, washers and bolts. Use the little plastic washers to create friction to pinch the screws in the slots, it keeps them from tipping over when you put the toilet over it. Putting the toilet back is two person job, you want someone to lift and someone to guide.
Finally comes the most important part of the job, that is after washing your hands four times and giving your son a long time out for flushing an un-flushable. Eat some cookies while typing up the story so you can laugh at it and not kill someone.
Love Ray and Andrew.
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